Evaluating, Editing, and Revising the Work of Other Writers

When you evaluate, edit, or revise someone else’s work, remember that your job is to help that person succeed, not to impose your own style.

At many points in your career, you will be asked to evaluate, edit, or revise the work of others. Before you dive into someone else’s work, recognize the dual responsibility that you have. First, unless you’ve specifically been asked to rewrite something in your own style, keep in mind that your job is to help the other writer succeed at his or her task, not to impose your writing style. Second, make sure you understand the writer’s intent before you begin suggesting or making changes. With those thoughts in mind, ask yourself the following questions as you evaluate someone else’s writing:

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· What is the purpose of this document or message?

· Who is the target audience?

· What information does the audience need?

· Are there any special circumstances or sensitive issues that the writer had to consider (or should have considered)?

· Does the document provide this information in a well-organized way?

· Does the writing demonstrate the “you” attitude toward the audience?

· Is the tone of the writing appropriate for the audience and the situation?

· Can the readability be improved?

Completing: Revising for Readability [LO-2], the paragraph below needs more work. There are several parts that are too long while some too short. By using the four techniques on page 117 you can improve the readability of your messages. Note: adding transitional words, bullet points, and eliminating repeated words would also greatly improve the message.

Directions : Please rewrite the following paragraph to vary the length of the sentences and to shorten the paragraph so it looks more inviting to readers (40 points).

Attention San Jose Giants,

Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including the New Haven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St. Louis Cardinals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britain Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins. These teams play in relatively small stadiums, so fans are close enough to see and hear everything, from the swing of the bat connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder’s glove. Best of all, the cost of a family outing to see rising stars play in a local minor league game is just a fraction of what the family would spend to attend a major league game in a much larger, more crowded stadium. We, at Eastside Apartments, would like to continue sending our families to your games and we’ve seen an increase in participants in the last few weeks. Please send us more tickets for your games.

Thank you for your support and we’re looking forward for more free tickets,

Joe Sommers,

Eastside Los Altos: Apartment Manager